It's Me

July 2018

"IT'S ME" is my first ever portrait and self-portrait.

I just wanted to capture my state of mind while I was feeling so many emotions.

Most of my darker and more abstract works stem from years of being bullied, intimidated, belittled, demeaned, isolated and targeted by someone who was formerly a friend but also a senior executive who I reported to directly.

The mistreatment started years before I recognised it, in 2011. He regularly used the analogy of the boiling frog which turned out to be very suitable to what happened to me. The fable goes like this ... if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. Of course this is not true however the analogy describes the inability or unwillingness to be aware of sinister threats that arise gradually rather than suddenly.

From the disbelief that a friend could be so very cruel to the constant fear of the next attack, to the slow assassination of my character at work. The roller coaster of feelings, fear, doubt, uncertainty, loneliness, isolation and despair left me hollow to the core. Unable to find a way out.

Thankfully I'm Irish, stubborn and bloody strong (or so I now realise) because I have stepped up to them all and am continuing to do even now in late 2018.

From senior executives to the public services commission to the industrial relations commission I'm not accepting anything other than what I deserve:

- an admission

- an apology

- real changes so this doesn't happy to anyone else again